The initial crushing shock of discovering an affair and the uncertainty it creates, commonly leads to divorce, especially when dealing with a serial cheater. One can choose to leave a marriage or relationship, after learning of the infidelity however, some choose to work it out based on the circumstances behind not saying people should stay married just because they have children however, if there is mutual love between the couple, they should do everything possible to salvage their relationship and take the steps to repair it, maintaining a healthy and loving environment for the children.

Those who choose to stay in their marriage, will experience an array of feelings such as anger, shame, obsessive thoughts, dwelling on the details of the affair, insecuirty, self-blame,  an obsession to monitor a spouse’s or partener's every move, which quite frankly, is understandable. The number one relationship killer is mistrust. In order to move forward after an affair, trust needs to be re-established. Without it, you can guarantee this relationship will fail.

Playing the victim or the person scorned, doesn't solve anything. Although an affair is a serious infraction in a realtionship, the cheated must empower themselves, by finding what the motivation was underlying the affair. They also need take steps to change the factors which led the unfaithful partner to cheat in the first place. Seeking marriage counseling would be the first step, to see if the relationship can still be salvaged. Advice from friends is typically not useful at this point in time, as people are too emotionally distraught to think clearly or make decisions that are in their best interest. Seeking professional help will help give the cheated the tools needed to process thier feelings, copings skills and recognize if the marriage is a healthy one.  The unfaithful could be a serial cheater, which means she or he will need extensive counseling, seperate from marriage counseling. The the unfaithful partner could also be in love with the other person outside the relationship. It is very important in finding the reasons behind why a partner cheated and it will help shed light on how to move forward.

Here are some common reasons why people are unfaithful:

• Insecurity
• Arrogance
• Feeling Neglected by partner
• Feel unappreciated
• A sense of entitlement
• Financial pressures
• Escapism from daily life
• For The Thrill/a challange
• Revenge
• Anger
• Unresolved issues
• Ego and opportunity
• Career problems
• Looking for excitement 
• Validation- boost self esteem
• As a way to end a relationship / an exit strategy
• Fear of growing older
• Feeling self-righteous
• Sex Addiction
• Deep-seated unhappiness
• Jealous of new baby
• Overbearing and controlling partner or spouse
• Drugs/Alcohol abuse